Positive thought Wednesday...

"It's not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean."   ~Anthony Robbins~

YES! YES! YES! I think my unemployment is ending soon. I am not sure if I'm eligible for another extension, but I will apply anyway. I think I'm FINALLY ready to get in the groove and look for work. Time to send in my resume to the jobs I find online and leave the results to God - social anxiety or not. Don't know what I want to do, but I'm saved some jobs and now it's time to take action. I have accepted that moving right now is not an option and that I have to return to work, to a job of some kind. Okay, I'm there.

Joined a site where I'll be working on some physical goals for myself. Now I need to complete the process, plus complete the profile on the site for clinical trials. Don't know what will happen with the last, if I'll be eligible for any of the trials, but again - GOD is in control. Is it time to take the leap and get off unemployment, to work more on writing? Or, are those my thoughts? Dunno...

Ok, I have about 45 minutes to get out of here to go to the doctor. I want to get down a rough draft of a poem.

T.G.I.F. or so it appears...

Woke up late today, since I rebelled and stayed up until 3 am. But, for some reason, I feel energized. I have plenty of time to work on 5 articles, so I'm going to use today to get ahead on them, then - and only then - can I pick up more articles to write. Did my research on the 5 articles last night, so I'm a little bit ahead of the game. And after yesterday's bodily abuse - eating like a slob! - I want to be gentle with myself today, so I'll think of myself as a beautiful, fragile, God-created flower.

I received a nice compliment on one of my articles - the one I wrote about Bonsai. It was a fun and interesting article to write, plus learning something about a beautiful garden art.

Rule #1 - BE GENTLE WITH MYSELF ALWAYS.

Even though confusion about all that's broken in my life still reigns supreme, I started praying earnestly about it last night as I tried to fall asleep. Maybe that's the key - it's not so much definitive words I use, or specific needs I pray for, but the honesty from my heart and soul that I pour out to God. Ya think?

Not necessarily in the following order:

In the next week, I must study and know the information in the DMV booklet, plus raise the money before 6/4 to get a great haircut - at Faroh's - who is the only hairdresser to cut my hair exactly as I like it. I think this will go a long way towards helping me to feel better.

Next, I have to break through my social anxiety - even in small ways - to attend some kind of event. Tonight, will see how I feel about going to see Lisa Marie perform in Pasadena. Yeah, it's scary to go out at night...not because of danger, just my own feeling about leaving my apartment. VULNERABILITY!  Saturday, I want to go to the haiku workshop at Pacific Asia Museum, it's earlier than Catalina (plus I won't run into 2 people who dislike me - Lynne and Leah - just don't need that NEGATIVITY, even though I won't hear Jack), plus closer to transportation back home, so I can get to bed early and get up for church (I REALLY WANT TO GO!) on Sunday.

To be continued...