Monday, April 30, 2012


I'm not sure why I do things like I did last night - I mean, 4 boxes of candy? None of them tasted good, honestly. My brain appears to be in my stomach and it just forgets that I'm worth more than the things I do to myself. I can be so creative, then forget to be creative with myself. WHY? What will it take before I finally come to the complete bottom where I start crawling my way back up through the wreckage of my life...right this minute I don't know. I can look in the mirror and tell myself I'm pretty and I love myself, but with the things I do, it's a lie.

Okay, I can start today even though I slept late. {Poor Sasha, it took her about 3 hours to get her human out of bed. Poor kitty had a tummy upset.} Yes, I can start with a few minutes of exercise after I get off the computer, then get dressed to go to Trader Joe's and Bed, Bath, & Beyond. BUT...before that I must find the EDD approval form, so I can send in my Unemployment deferrment for my school loan. Okay...feeling more than a bit of anxiety because I'm de-railing myself.

Feeling like this dead leaf and I want to fell like the green grass...yeah... Too much in my mind right now. Need to SIMPLIFY! SIMPLIFY!

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