Sunday, May 13, 2012

The goddess in me

This is for me and all the other women who have not, until now believed in themselves. For the ones who go out to eat, go to the movies, go shopping, and the countless other things - alone - that other women have guys or friends or families with them. 

I slept until noon and YES, it felt good. I ate what I wanted today, but no junk and YES, it felt good. I will watch the last (ever) show of Desperate Housewives and while it doesn't feel good, I know things move on. House ends soon, too. 

It's so odd, Aurora has so much and all I hear her do is complain. I wish I had half of what she does. I wonder what would happen if we switched lives. Then, I imagine she'd really have something to complain about. I know her life isn't perfect, but she has so much and is so grateful for so little. This too makes my heart ache...

I can flirt, but nothing every comes of it, so my cracked heart grows fissures that are deeper.(And who can I really tell that understands?) 

Today was Mothers' Day, but my Mom has been gone for 6 years. I'm not a mother, but I had the chance many years ago. God only knows what stopped me from having at least one child I was pregnant with. 

Awwww, stuff it Fudgie! Not complaining, just need to get this garbage out of my system. sigh...

Too much junk in tonight's post. I'm off... Sasha will sit next to me. At least I have her.

God, you know the pain in my heart from loneliness. I pray that you hear my prayers and put someone in my life who cares about me as much as I can care for him. :-\

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